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CAPTION BANK: How Fedex delivered some laughs E-mail

Broken-down truck photo and how bankers captioned it

 
 
http://www.ababj.com/images/stories/91412_briefing.jpg
 
 
Readers of ABA Editor's Report the last two weeks had the opportunity to provide a caption for the candid snap above, spotted in suburban New York. Entrants participated in a random drawing for a $50 Amazon card, which will be awarded to Nelson Knowles, Prosperity Bank, St. Augustine, Fla.
 
Your reward is some very funny captions, and few groaners.
           —Steve Cocheo, executive editor and digital content manager
 
 
 
1. "The sponsors of the UPS parade were none too pleased with this float entry."
            Kirk Jones, State Bank of Southern Utah
 
 
2. "It was either this or call  UPS to deliver our new van as the package (van) exceeded our size/weight limit."
             Richard Montano, Kaw Valley Bank, Topeka, Kan.
 
 
3. "Mack's Towing--When it absolutely, positively... can't be there overnight."
            Kim Fowler, vice-president and wealth compliance manager, TD Bank, Greenville, S.C.
 
 
4. "Rain or Shine...Gas or NO Gas...We'll get your package there!"
 
and
 
"We wanted to know what it felt like to BE the delivery; just once."
            Sarah Schrader, BancorpSouth, Springfield, Mo.
 
 
5. "FedExTra-When your van absolutely, positively has to be there overnight."
            Charles W. Csakai, vice-president, U.S. Trust, Bank of America Private Wealth Management, Chicago, Ill.
 
 
6. "Most Efficient Delivery Completion Per Miles on Vehicle."
            Quinten A. Pultz, Administrative Vice President, Riley State Bank, Riley, Kan.
 
 
7. "Your urgent letters get there by Piggy-Back Express!"
            Robin Allen, Corporate Compliance Payments Manager, U.S. Bancorp, Cincinnati, OH
 
 
8. "If it fits, it ships!"
            Larry Cunningham, First Home Bank, Seminole, Fla.
 
 
9. "...when it absolutely has to get there on time."
            Kim Shaffer, Signature Bank, N.A., vice-president, Toledo, Ohio
 
 
10. "Neither rain, nor snow, nor sleet, nor in-operable vehicle shall keep Fedex from delivering..."
             Chris Ehlinger, executive vice-president & CFO, Westbound Bank, Tyler, Texas
 
 
11. "Yet another new FedEx rate category: ‘Slightly above ground'."
             Nelson Knowles, Prosperity Bank, St. Augustine, Fla.
 
 
12. "So that's how they get everywhere by 10 am! ... hitchin' emergency response tow trucks to zip thru red lights!"
            Cheryl Traudt, senior vice-president, director of commercial sales and treasury management, Extraco Banks, Katy, Texas
 
 
13. "When it absolutely, positively breaks down overnight."
            Annette Stuckey, First National Bank of Shawnee, Okla.
 
 
14. "FED EX - When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight and our van breaks down."
 
Or
 
15. "FED EX - No package too big, even flatbed trucks!"
            Mindy J. Denkin, assistant vice-president, information analyst III, Consumer Compliance, TD Bank
 
 
16. "He ain't heavy, he's my brother."
            Paul J. Jarosz, senior vice-president and director of government compliance, Oxford Bank & Trust, Oak Brook, Ill.
 
 
17. "On time, every time! No matter what!"
            Brian Kamler, City National Bank & Trust, Lincoln, Neb.
 
 
18. "Delivered!  Even if we need to hitch a ride."
             Ranee Niedermeyer, senior vice-president, retail banking, Evergreen Federal Bank, Grant's Pass, Ore.
 
 
19. "Don't worry, it's empty...I think."
            Cheryl Parks, personal banker, Chicago, IL
 
 
20. "When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight... at least most of the time."
             Tyler Jones, assistant vice-president / Trust Officer, Central Bank and Trust Co., Hutchinson, Kan.
 
 
21. "Your Fed Ex package will be ‘semi'- delayed."
 
Or
 
F reight
E ventually
D elivered
    by
E xtreme
X eno Means
             JoDee Kiecker, V.P. audit and compliance officer, Fidelity Bank, Edina, Minn.
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